Simone De Beauvoir's "Myth and Reality" (Summary)

 

The idea of the "myth of woman" holds significant influence in literature, but its impact on daily life and individual behavior is worth exploring. This myth represents a fixed notion about the division of humanity into two distinct classes based on gender. It suggests an unchanging reality, projecting an idealized concept of femininity that transcends the complexities of actual human experience. Despite contradicting evidence from real-life women, this myth holds sway, suggesting that those who don't conform to its ideal are somehow flawed.

 

This myth is deeply rooted in human experience, as there is indeed a fundamental difference between men and women, felt in various aspects of life such as desire, love, and relationships. However, the reality is more nuanced than the myth suggests. While there are differences, they often lead to a reciprocal relationship between individuals, creating a dynamic interplay rather than a one-sided imposition of gender roles. the myth of woman simplifies the complexities of gender dynamics, presenting an idealized and unchanging notion of femininity that doesn't always reflect the reality of diverse human experiences. Despite its roots in our experiences of gender differences, it tends to overlook the fluid and reciprocal nature of relationships between individuals of different genders.

 

In reality, women are diverse and multifaceted, but various myths attempt to encapsulate the entirety of womanhood, each claiming to represent the ultimate truth. Consequently, conflicting myths about femininity exist, leaving men puzzled by the seemingly contradictory aspects attributed to women. This phenomenon reflects a tendency in society to simplify complex relationships and roles into fixed categories or types, similar to how children perceive objects.

 

For instance, in patriarchal societies where preserving inherited wealth is paramount, there are expectations for both men and women. While men who engage in activities like speculation or fraud are typically condemned, women can use their sexual allure to influence men to spend their wealth, often without legal repercussions. These women may be labeled as "bad," but they can also play roles as caretakers or benefactors in different contexts, blurring the lines between societal norms and personal behavior.

 

This complexity is exemplified in historical figures like Aspasia or Madame de Pompadour, who embody both positive and negative qualities depending on the perspective. Similarly, depictions of women as both demonic and divine figures, such as the Praying Mantis or the Muse, highlight the ambivalence inherent in the concept of the Eternal Feminine.

 

In societal symbols and social roles, opposites often define each other, leading to inherent ambiguity in the perception of femininity. For instance, the nurturing mother figure may be contrasted with the cruel stepmother, or the innocent young girl may be juxtaposed with the seductive temptress. This ambiguity underscores the complexity of women's roles and the various interpretations of their identities throughout history.

Society and individuals often choose between two opposing categories based on their needs and beliefs, rather than solely on reality. For example, the myth that women are inherently suited for domestic roles aligns with values of paternalism and emphasizes qualities like sentimentality and inwardness. However, this myth overlooks the fact that every individual possesses both immanent (internal) and transcendent (external) qualities. In patriarchal societies, women are often confined to immanent roles, such as homemakers, but this is not their true calling any more than slavery is the destiny of a slave.

 

This mythology can be traced in the writings of figures like Auguste Comte, who equated womanhood with altruism, thereby justifying men's entitlement to women's devotion. However, it's crucial to distinguish between recognizing significance within an object and subscribing to a myth. Significance is inherent and can be understood through lived experiences, while myths are transcendent ideas that elude rational comprehension. For instance, appreciating the beauty of the female body or being repelled by menstrual blood stems from tangible experiences, not mythical beliefs.

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It's erroneous to reduce womanhood to mere flesh or to associate it solely with nature, as this overlooks the diverse experiences and identities of women. Furthermore, perpetuating the myth of woman as inherently tied to nature serves to reinforce prejudice and justify the exploitation and mistreatment of women. For instance, men may neglect to address women's physiological needs, such as sexual pleasure, under the guise of it being "natural" for women to suffer. This myth has historically upheld the privileges of the ruling class and perpetuated the subjugation of women by absolving men of responsibility for women's well-being.

One of the most entrenched myths about women is the idea of their inherent "mystery," which holds significant advantages for men. It provides a convenient explanation for anything about women that seems incomprehensible to men. Instead of admitting ignorance, men can attribute women's behavior to an enigmatic quality that lies outside of their understanding, which flatters their ego and laziness. This notion of mystery also allows men to romanticize their relationships with women, as it perpetuates a sense of distance and intrigue that they find appealing.

 

In reality, women may seem mysterious to men because of differences in their experiences and perspectives. Women's physiological complexities, such as menstruation and childbirth, can contribute to this perception of mystery. Additionally, the inherent enigma of the relationship between an individual's physiological and psychological aspects is particularly pronounced in women.

 

However, the mystery attributed to women isn't just about their internal experiences but also extends to how they communicate and present themselves. It's not that women are silent or absent, but rather that their language and presence may be misunderstood or obscured, leading to uncertainty about who they truly are. This ambiguity can lead to various interpretations of women's identities, ranging from angelic to demonic, and it's possible that even women themselves may struggle to define their essence.

The crux of the matter is that women may struggle to define themselves, not because their true essence is too elusive to grasp, but because in the realm of subjective experience, there is no inherent truth. Individuals are defined by their actions, and when it comes to assessing a woman's inner self, there are often no clear qualifications to speak of. In romantic or marital relationships, where women are often viewed as the subordinate or the other, this lack of qualification becomes particularly apparent.

 

Interestingly, the sense of mystery surrounding women seems to have an economic underpinning. In situations where a person, regardless of gender, assumes the role of the subordinate object, they become shrouded in mystery. This dynamic suggests that economic factors influence perceptions of mystery and power dynamics in relationships.

 

Distinguishing between genuine sentiment and imagination in love can be challenging, as emotions are not always clearly discernible from fantasies. However, actions speak louder than words. In society, men typically hold a privileged position, allowing them to actively demonstrate their love through gestures like financial support, social standing, and thoughtful gifts. This ability to take initiative and provide for a partner can be indicative of genuine affection.

 

Conversely, a woman's acceptance of such benefits may be interpreted in various ways: Is it out of love or self-interest? Does she truly love her partner or simply the benefits of marriage? While a man's gestures may also be ambiguous, a woman typically gains more advantages from her relationship with a man than vice versa. Thus, a man's genuine affection can often be inferred from his overall behavior and attitude towards his partner.

A woman often struggles to understand her own feelings because they can change with her mood, leading to different interpretations of her emotions. In instances where women hold economic and social privilege, the sense of mystery typically associated with them can be reversed, showing that mystery isn't inherently linked to one gender but rather to the individual's circumstances. Many women, however, find their paths to self-realization blocked, leading them to wonder endlessly about their potential and identity. This questioning often leads to a sense of emptiness as they remain on the fringes of society.

 

Moreover, like other oppressed groups, women often conceal their true feelings and behaviors, adopting a facade of constant cheerfulness or enigmatic stoicism to navigate their relationships with men. They're taught from a young age to hide their true selves and to be cautious, hypocritical, and strategic in their interactions with men.

 

The concept of the Feminine Mystery, as understood in mythical thought, delves deeper into the idea of women's enigmatic nature. It's closely tied to the notion of the absolute Other, suggesting that for true reciprocity to be impossible, the Other must remain mysterious even to itself. This implies that the very subjectivity of the Other is affected by its otherness, making it a source of absolute mystery. Essentially, the Feminine Mystery stems from the inherent mystery of subjective consciousness, which is compounded by its perceived otherness.

 

Similarly, there's an air of mystery surrounding people of different races, such as Black, Yellow, or Asian individuals, who are often viewed as the ultimate Other. However, this mysteriousness isn't attributed to them in the same way as it is to women. For example, while Americans may puzzle Europeans, they're not typically considered mysterious; rather, they're just not understood. This highlights that mystery tends to be associated with those in subordinate positions, such as women or marginalized racial groups.

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However, the reality of this mystery often dissolves upon closer examination. Literature often portrays women as mysterious at first, but as the story progresses, their actions are usually explained, revealing them to be straightforward individuals. Even in detective novels where women are depicted as unpredictable, their behavior typically has logical explanations. Essentially, mystery is often just a facade that fades away when scrutinized.

 

The myth of womanhood is largely perpetuated by its usefulness to men. It flourishes in societies where individuals have the luxury to dream and idealize relationships, typically during periods of leisure and affluence. However, these ideals are often shaped by societal interests and patriarchal agendas. Patriarchal societies utilize myths to justify their laws and customs, indoctrinating individuals with group imperatives through religious beliefs, traditions, and cultural narratives.

 

Ultimately, myths serve as a way for individuals to sublimate their mundane experiences, providing a sense of eternity and absolute meaning in a world filled with material realities. Even the smallest emotions or frustrations can be elevated to reflect timeless ideas, offering a comforting illusion that flatters one's ego and vanity.

 

The myth of womanhood is a trap that ensnares those who rely on preconceived notions rather than genuine experiences and thoughtful judgments. Instead of engaging authentically with women as autonomous individuals, this myth substitutes a fixed, idealized image—a mirage—for real interactions.

 

French poet Laforgue humorously suggests that since men cannot understand women, they might as well tranquilize them and make them equals in society, abandoning the symbolic roles imposed upon them. In reality, men have much to gain by abandoning the idea of woman as a symbol. When women are viewed as fellow human beings rather than romanticized symbols, relationships become more genuine and fulfilling.

 

Historically, the times that have most sincerely valued women are those when they were regarded as equals rather than symbols. For instance, in the 18th century, women were seen as fellow creatures rather than mysterious symbols, as depicted in literature like "Dangerous Liaisons," "The Red and the Black," and "Farewell to Arms." These heroines are engaging despite lacking the mystery associated with mythical portrayals of women.

 

Recognizing women as human beings doesn't diminish the richness of human experience; it simply asks that behavior, emotions, and relationships be based on truth rather than myth. Women are not just their bodies or their roles as mistresses or mothers; they deserve autonomy and recognition as individuals beyond their traditional gender roles.

 

However, contemporary society often expects women to embody conflicting roles—both as equals and as the "other." This contradictory expectation creates a lack of balance for women, who struggle to reconcile these conflicting identities. While men are praised for their ability to navigate both public and private spheres, women's independence is often seen as incompatible with their femininity, as they are still expected to fulfill the role of the "other."

 

 

It's possible that societal perceptions of beauty and sexuality are evolving, leading to changes in aesthetic standards. While there was a brief trend for a boyish figure with flat chests and narrow hips, we haven't returned to the overly curvaceous ideal of past centuries. Today, there's an emphasis on a slender yet muscular body, suggesting strength and vitality, with a preference for a healthy tan rather than a pale complexion.

 

Modern fashion, with its practicality, doesn't necessarily detract from a woman's femininity. Short skirts, for example, can accentuate a woman's legs and thighs without making her appear sexless. There's a growing acceptance of women holding positions traditionally seen as masculine while still being desired, although this may challenge traditional gender roles and lead to new forms of eroticism and possibly new myths.

 

However, many women find it difficult to reconcile their autonomy with societal expectations of womanhood. This struggle can lead to feelings of confusion and restlessness, contributing to the perception of women as a "lost sex." Yet, it's more comfortable to conform to traditional roles than to strive for liberation, even though progress is necessary and desirable.

 

It's crucial for men to fully embrace and support the changing roles and identities of women. Only then can women navigate this evolving landscape without internal conflict. Ultimately, the goal is for women to be seen and treated as full human beings, liberated from the constraints of traditional gender norms and able to live authentically.